Political discussions don't have to lead to arguments—here’s how to keep them constructive.
The Big Picture
Holiday gatherings can be stressful enough without heated political debates. With political polarization at an all-time high, many Americans avoid discussing politics altogether to prevent family fights. But avoiding these conversations entirely isn’t the only solution.
Instead of shutting down political discussions, try shifting the way you talk about them. Focusing on policy instead of personalities, practicing perspective-taking, and dropping the goal of changing minds can turn these conversations into constructive, thought-provoking exchanges.
Zooming In
Talk About Policy, Not Politicians
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” This applies to political discussions. Talking about politicians themselves—rather than their policies—leads to unproductive and emotional arguments.
Instead, shift the focus to how public policy affects everyday life:
- Young parents may struggle with child care costs and availability.
- Small business owners may face burdensome licensing fees.
- Workers may hesitate to switch jobs due to health care concerns.
By discussing issues and potential solutions rather than partisan talking points, you can foster productive conversations rather than arguments.
Try Perspective-Taking
Before diving into a political debate, ask if the other person is open to an exchange of ideas. Then, try this exercise: explain the other person’s viewpoint as if it were your own.
For example, if you support strong gun control laws and the other person does not, you might say:“I think you oppose gun control because the gun owners you know are responsible and committed to safety.”
The other person might agree, or they might clarify:
“Actually, my dad taught me to shoot when I was a kid, and I see responsible gun ownership as an important part of American culture.”
This method—featured in the documentary Undivide Us—is based on research showing that putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can help you find common ground. Even if you don’t agree, you’ll better understand each other’s perspectives.
Let Go of the Need to Change Minds
No one changes their beliefs because of a single conversation. People’s opinions are shaped by personal experiences, culture, and deeply held values. Instead of trying to "win" the conversation, focus on listening and understanding.
If someone tries to argue with you, set boundaries:
“I’d love to discuss our opinions, but let’s agree not to try to change each other’s minds.”
This approach keeps the conversation civil, thought-provoking, and enjoyable—without the tension of trying to "convert" each other.
Independent Lens
America is stronger when we engage in thoughtful conversations about policy, even when we disagree. Political discussions don’t have to divide families—they can help broaden perspectives and build mutual understanding.
This holiday season, focus on ideas, practice perspective-taking, and enjoy time with loved ones—without the stress of partisan battles.
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